32 Comments
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Shervin Talieh's avatar

Irvine is like going to a wedding and finding out the bride and groom are second cousins.

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Catherine Liu's avatar

Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard, I'm kind of crying....at this comment...still laughing, but also about to cry

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Kerry Shaw's avatar

Irvine isn’t that bad: it’s conveniently close enough to the original Panini Cafe on PCH to make whatever color the houses might be tolerable 🤔

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Catherine Liu's avatar

Many better food choices now. And it is pretty bad but so comfortable

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Kerry Shaw's avatar

I know, was just slipping a plug in for my still fav afterall these years Med’n joint

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Ajay Singh's avatar

That particular marital arrangement is half of the Mideast, Shervin, as I think you already know!

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Catherine Liu's avatar

Is this true? I can’t get over this…and the analogy to Irvine it is just too much!

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Ajay Singh's avatar

Presuming your question is directed at me, Catherine, I’d reply, Absolutely! Marriage among cousins is common among Muslims, both majority Sunni and minority Shia.

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Shervin Talieh's avatar

Yes, although I wasn’t thinking about that.

Having been to a distant family wedding an learning about this, it was that sense of “ah! Now I see why everything seems so perfect, and everyone is getting along! It’s like they were meant for each other!”

An almost too perfect homogeneity.

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Catherine Liu's avatar

I was appreciating the comparison between the cousin wedding and Irvine for its rich allusiveness. Suspected there might have been some reality to it. Yikes

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Ayla Çimen's avatar

This reads like Joan Didion, I deeply enjoyed. The fact that you can post a photo of a random house and it’s not a privacy issue because there are probably 100 houses that look just like this 😭

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Amanda Roe's avatar

God, I needed to read this. Love the rage. Thank you Catherine

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Leslie Medrano's avatar

I used to live in Irvine! Moving from North Long Beach to Irvine was WILD. Just a Quail Hill townhome renter. But appreciate the experience. I remember one Thanksgiving the cops were stopping cars-not to check for drunk drivers-but to hand out pumpkin pies 😵‍💫My generations deep LA and IE fam couldn’t believe it. Another planet…

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Empire Citizen's avatar

So well written with not a single expletive required!

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Superbowl Steve Hunt's avatar

But where are the clear garage doors?

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Leslie Medrano's avatar
Poetics of Tension's avatar

It’s against HOA rules in Irvine to have culture or happiness.

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Catherine Liu's avatar

People are no more or less happy anywhere else. Maybe more happy bc they have $$$.

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B. Paraseltzer's avatar

The comedian Pablo Francisco used to joke that the gang members in Irvine do "drive-by sweaterings"

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Catherine Liu's avatar

This is before the Asian take over I imagine

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Felix McNamara's avatar

I thought I bought a Snoop Dog poster there as a kid, where the hell would that shop have been!?

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Catherine Liu's avatar

Maybe. Irvine doesn’t allow weed shops or McDonald’s so I doubt you could have bought a snoop poster here

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Catherine Liu's avatar

Maybe LA?

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Shervin Talieh's avatar

Costa Mesa

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Bryan Hagerla's avatar

enjoyed the bodily comparisons, and how you are “leaning” into it and the influx of better Asian goodies is hard to quibble with. My Chicago burb not so quite high-end, neutralish, but no authentic Asian food, regrettably.

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Scott Kelley's avatar

Your description of these dwellings nailed it. I visited once and I felt like I’d entered Camazotz from A Wrinkle In Time.

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Catherine Liu's avatar

I live in one of those houses.

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Scott Kelley's avatar

You are a great writer. I couldn’t articulate what bothered me most about these houses (which are in other subdivisions!), and after this sentence I will not be able to unsee this palette. “The colors you can paint your house in my community are carefully controlled. Any color that cannot be found in human excretions is not permitted: poopy browns, urine yellows, all shades of mucous beige tending toward green, milky spermy whites, these are permitted and even welcomed.”

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Catherine Liu's avatar

I was thinking about how I left out blood. That is a bodily fluid, but red is really verboten in the enclaves of neutrality.

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Scott Kelley's avatar

that was my next thought! but it’s too bright as you say. Maybe the color of dried scabs? The classic mission style (white walls and blood red tile) is just too much for the burbclaves

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Scott Kelley's avatar

BTW, did you every read Snowcrash? The dystopian cyberpunk novel’s first scene is a car chase in a SoCal Burbclave. You really do live in the future.

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Catherine Liu's avatar

I read it a long time ago!

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